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Quick question. I missed it in the briefing. How much urine do these suits hold?

Howard

The uterus quivers, does it not?

Amy

Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.

Bernadette's father: You go up to that space station and you make me proud.
Howard: Um, okay.
Bernadette's father: You got a problem with that?
Howard: All right, look, I'm going to level with you. I'm terrified about going into space. What if I don't make it back?
Bernadette's father: It's gonna be okay, son.
Howard: You really think so?
Bernadette's father: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette ... she'll find a new guy.

Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year, wasn't everything in there?

Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"

I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.

Sheldon

And, I promise after waiting four months fast is what you are gonna get.

Leonard

I look like the Flash about to be married.

Sheldon

A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them.

Sheldon

Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch 'Star Trek'; I live it.
Raj: Oh, please, I don't remember the episode of 'Star Trek' where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
Howard: Make all the jokes you want. There is only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.

Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh ... I'm not gonna die in space! I'm gonna die the way God intended in my late 50s with a heart full of pastrami.

Howard
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 261 in total

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Name your price.
Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?
Amy: Nevermind.

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