The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory
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Quick question. I missed it in the briefing. How much urine do these suits hold?

Howard

The uterus quivers, does it not?

Amy

Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.

Bernadette's father: You go up to that space station and you make me proud.
Howard: Um, okay.
Bernadette's father: You got a problem with that?
Howard: All right, look, I'm going to level with you. I'm terrified about going into space. What if I don't make it back?
Bernadette's father: It's gonna be okay, son.
Howard: You really think so?
Bernadette's father: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette ... she'll find a new guy.

Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year, wasn't everything in there?

Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"

I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.

Sheldon

And, I promise after waiting four months fast is what you are gonna get.

Leonard

I look like the Flash about to be married.

Sheldon

A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them.

Sheldon

Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch 'Star Trek'; I live it.
Raj: Oh, please, I don't remember the episode of 'Star Trek' where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
Howard: Make all the jokes you want. There is only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.

Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh ... I'm not gonna die in space! I'm gonna die the way God intended in my late 50s with a heart full of pastrami.

Howard
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 261 in total

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Well, you should. 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness

Sheldon

You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine. We, neurobiologists, refer to this as the skank reflex.

Amy