Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Leonard: Come on, Sheldon. It will be fun.
Sheldon: That's what you said about the Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong.

No! When I eat Fruit Loops the other astronauts make fun of me.

Howard

Actually, Fruit Loops just got married ... to a girl.

Cosmonaut

Quick question. I missed it in the briefing. How much urine do these suits hold?

Howard

The uterus quivers, does it not?

Amy

Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.

Bernadette's father: You go up to that space station and you make me proud.
Howard: Um, okay.
Bernadette's father: You got a problem with that?
Howard: All right, look, I'm going to level with you. I'm terrified about going into space. What if I don't make it back?
Bernadette's father: It's gonna be okay, son.
Howard: You really think so?
Bernadette's father: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette ... she'll find a new guy.

Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year, wasn't everything in there?

Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"

Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 261 in total