We have reason to believe your brother is alive and well and has stolen the world's ugliest sedan.


Dan: There are no prints on that. I looked.
Jack: Technology has come a long way since "I looked."

This is why I hate small rooms!


Dan: You sure do know a lot about that heroin.
Jack: Thank you.

Dan: We're on the five-yard line. I can feel it tingling in my loins.
Jack: Another good one for the report.

Are you asking me to predict the behavior of a man who uses his service revolver to open a mayonnaise jar?


Dan: Am I under oath?
Liz: Yes, I'd appreciate it if you stopped asking that question.

You ever need cops, you come straight to property crimes.


Look at his face, it's got "yeah, sure, I'll be the wife" written all over it.


Dan: Before we go in there, I want you to know I respect you.
Jack: Thanks... oh yeah. Right. You, too.

Women are like kittens. They just wanna be taken care of.


If this guy is trying to take over the south Dallas drug trade, there's one better to handle it than me. And maybe also Dan.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 31 in total

The Good Guys Quotes

You think it's a sign when the check-out lady asks paper or plastic.


After she took your manhood, where did she put it? Did she put it in a jar or something?

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