Taco: What the hell's "M.L.A"?
Kevin: It means "Mouth Like Anus."

It smelled like Nick Nolte and Gary Busey were doing squats in there.

Ruxin

These birthday parties are the worst. You are stuck talking to people that you have nothing in common with except that you had unprotected sex at the same time.

Kevin

Pete: Taco, you have three girlfriends already!
Taco: I need a back-up! People die all the time! A month ago, I had four girlfriends! Rest in peace, Oksana. Goddamn that mountain lion.

We're brothers! It's weird if I DON'T sit on your lap!

Taco

She looks like she belongs on a beer poster, and I look like the guy who makes you answer riddles before you cross a bridge.

Ruxin

Gail: You really messed this up. You could have had sex with the most pathetic, insecure, desperate woman you've ever met! I would have let you put me in a cage!
Rafi: I have a cage!
Gail: Have fun in your cage--alone!

Taco: I can feel your penis on the back of my head.
Rafi: That's a war-boner, man.

Rafi: Gattaca!
Taco: I don't think he's seen that movie! He wouldn't be yelling that if he had.

The S.A.T.s are culturally biased. That's why I got high and rode a snowmobile through a mall instead of taking them.

Taco

Next time, jerk off in your van like a gentleman.

Taco

Nobody can love Andre the way that we can love Andre, and we cannot stand Andre.

Ruxin

The League Quotes

Jenny: You were treating me like a lady!
Frank 'The Body' Gibiatti: And I watch ladies pee!
Tug: He watches every lady pee!
Frank: Not every lady.
Tug: That's the only way he can get hard!

Kevin: Well, Taco is rich.
Andre: Rich to Taco is like having twenty bucks and a can of Four Loko.