Taco: What the hell's "M.L.A"?
Kevin: It means "Mouth Like Anus."

I'm gonna install a safe word, so that if I ever feel uncomfortable during the game, I'm gonna say 'Fidelio,' and you guys will know what to do.

Andre

She looks like she belongs on a beer poster, and I look like the guy who makes you answer riddles before you cross a bridge.

Ruxin

Rafi: Gattaca!
Taco: I don't think he's seen that movie! He wouldn't be yelling that if he had.

Pete: Taco, you have three girlfriends already!
Taco: I need a back-up! People die all the time! A month ago, I had four girlfriends! Rest in peace, Oksana. Goddamn that mountain lion.

Next time, jerk off in your van like a gentleman.

Taco

Taco: I can feel your penis on the back of my head.
Rafi: That's a war-boner, man.

These birthday parties are the worst. You are stuck talking to people that you have nothing in common with except that you had unprotected sex at the same time.

Kevin

Gail: You really messed this up. You could have had sex with the most pathetic, insecure, desperate woman you've ever met! I would have let you put me in a cage!
Rafi: I have a cage!
Gail: Have fun in your cage--alone!

The S.A.T.s are culturally biased. That's why I got high and rode a snowmobile through a mall instead of taking them.

Taco

Taco: Kevin, can I use your TV to play Sega Genesis? I just got 'Joel Madden Football,' and I'm getting good at it.
Ruxin: 'Joel Madden Football'?
Taco: Yeah, he's the drummer of Good Charlotte. I guess he just really likes football or something.

It smelled like Nick Nolte and Gary Busey were doing squats in there.

Ruxin

The League Quotes

I'm gonna install a safe word, so that if I ever feel uncomfortable during the game, I'm gonna say 'Fidelio,' and you guys will know what to do.

Andre

Golden Tate, still my favorite cereal.