You seem like you’re in the middle of a manic break.

Ruxin

It was an homage to Silence of the Lambs.

These are the thinnest that I've got. Legally, I'm not allowed to call them pants.

Holding hands is the worst. That's not where the hand wants to be.

Golden Tate, still my favorite cereal.

PAM: Okay, let's start off our group therapy session the way we always do; checking in on how insane everyone is feeling today. William. Last week you were talking about your mother.
WILLIAM [crazily]: I don't want to talk about her.
PAM: She was making a grilled-cheese sandwich for you; she realized she forgot to put the tomatoes in, and then she jumped inside the oven to kill herself.
WILLIAM [crying]: I don't want to talk about my mom in the oven!
PAM: Closed the oven door; she stared at you through the little tiny window.

PAM: I'm going to need you to fill out these forms.
RAFI: I have to go where my wife is. My kids.
PAM: Your wife is dead; your children are dead. So marital status will be "single," and children is "zero."

PAM: Randall.
RANDY: I don't belong here; I don't need to be here. I think there's been some sort of mistake.
PAM: You do need to be here, because I think you've tried to commit suicide over 75 times, according to your files.

PAM: Now Raphael, before electroshock treatment I usually call family members and let them know this is about to happen. But yours are all dead.
RAFI: Call my sister?
PAM: Now listen, if I start smiling, or laughing, while it's happening, it's because I'm enjoying breaking you down. [after zapping them] It did make me laugh! It did make me laugh.

That wasn’t mouth-to-mouth. That was true love’s kiss.

Rafi

You seedless watermelon!

Ruxin

Jordan Cameron: Did they just steal the coffin?
Cameron Jordan: Should we go get it?
J. J. Watt: No. I'm giving them a 50-yard head start.

The League Quotes

Jenny: You were treating me like a lady!
Frank 'The Body' Gibiatti: And I watch ladies pee!
Tug: He watches every lady pee!
Frank: Not every lady.
Tug: That's the only way he can get hard!

Kevin: Well, Taco is rich.
Andre: Rich to Taco is like having twenty bucks and a can of Four Loko.