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Danny: How did you find out? How did YOU find out?
Morgan: Because I'm smarter than you may have thoughten.

I am a hot, smart woman, with an ass that doesn't quit.

Danny: I haven't seen you smile this much since you found out that you're younger than Katie Holmes.
Mindy: That old bag.

I realize that I've been on one adult date in my life and I am not at the place where I should be giving advice on relationships but, this is a bad idea.

Peter

Lisa: You shouldn't be allowed to tell anyone when you do something good.
Peter: Exactly, I have been saying that for so long. Like there's this charity that I just started giving money to, it's for um...I'm not gonna tell you. It's Jump Ropes For Fat Kids! Feels good to get it out.

I don't roll G rated. I'm hard R son!

Peter

Man caves are for such whipped losers.

Peter

I'm not drunk officer. I am under the influence of drugs, so the jokes on you this time.

The only downside of being a woman who can make her own decisions is that you have to make good decisions.

Danny: He thinks I'm Jewish.
Peter: Well I can see that. You do complain about the air conditioning a lot.

Danny: Hey Pete I gotta ask you something.
Peter: What is that I hear? The ga-ga-ga-ghost of someone who's dead to me?

How many hours of energy did you drink?

Danny
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 184 in total
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