I refuse to work anywhere else. I love being a paralegal here.

Beverly

Danny is not dying. He's the healthiest person I know. His favorite junk food is raisins.

Jeremy

Rishi, you can not be this little idiot that I have to take care of anymore. Because, spoiler alert, there's going to be a new stupid little idiot that I have to take care of.

Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?

Maybe I'll just go, yeah, out in the night into the cold armed with nothing but my pepper spray and my gun.

Ethnic people slap each other all the time. It's like half of reality TV.

Oh My God. You do NOT slap a slapper.

Annette wants everyone to wash up, especially you Mindy.

Robert

Mindy: That's right 'cause in this family you gotsa do your chores.
Annette: Stop saying stupid stuff and come help

You leave me to pick up the pieces. That's why I don't have a husband.

Dot

Family doesn't wait to be invited. It's like HPV, it just shows up and never leaves.

Peter

She seemed really sincere, like when she tells me she hates my make up.