The trick to online dating is you want a bold face lie.


Normally, the amount of months I date someone, that's how many years it takes to get over them. So, 7 years.


Mindy: Kate Upton is a perfect 10.
Danny: Who's this Kate Uptown?

We don't even know who this Ladroe guy is. He could be a killer. They never caught Zodiac.


If finding a husband was that easy, I would not be here working. I would be married and in Connecticut. Wine drunk all day and working on my smug mom blog called "Diapers and Daydreams."

But remember, the bathroom door can't block God's eyes.


She wants me to propose by Christmas. That's not right. It's too much pressure on the Lord's birthday.


Hey, did this treadmill just ask for my weight? Rude.

No, I won't do it. When I got my caligraphic's license, I sweared I would only use it for good.


Mindy: You know what they call me around here? They call me Sarge.
Tamra: Actually that didn't stick. We still call you Meatball. [to intern] Yeah, listen to Meatball.

Hi my name is Dr. Lahiri and I am your real teacher. Let me asure you, this will not be one of those situations where I end up learning more from you.

Do you think I would actually sign a petition to raise the minimum wage? What? So Morgan can eat caviar.

The Mindy Project Quotes

After four vodka sodas I realized, I had something to say.


Daniel Castellano, I'm the man that is going to take a person out of you. I don't take that responsibility lightly okay?