You know that happened to me for real? Green Key Weekend, Junior year, I aspirated on my own vomit. Chris Farley appeared to me and said “It’s not your time yet.”

Peter

My favorite hobby is also activities!

Morgan

As a friend I gotta tell you, you look terrible.

Morgan

My name is Nurse Morgan. I'm here to name your babies.

Morgan

Dude come on! I can't be more than five-teen minutes late?

Peter

She is calming okay? She's like a white noise machine to me.

Danny

Are you kidding me, assigned seats? What is this The Oscars?

Danny

The holes on the tea cups don't fit my fat fingers!

Peter

I don't have a problem with you. I just don't want to hang out with you if I don't have to.

Peter

Peter: I will kill this old lady.
Mindy: Excuse me?!
Peter: She's pushing 55 and that's a terrible day to die.

It's afterhours, there's different rules.

Danny

Danny: You really think my body's hot?
Mindy: Ugh! You know that it is.
Danny: The guys at the gym, you know they make comments but, they're flirts

The Mindy Project Quotes

Whatever you do, do not talk to any white people. In Boston, they are the dangerous ones.

Mindy

Mindy: I had to sacrifice a lot, too. Like Neepa or Promud or Gamora or Groot or Rocket the Raccoon.
Rob: I think some of those are Guardians of the Galaxy.