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What am I supposed to do with my hands if I’m not holding beers?

Peter

Mindy: What the hell is that?
Peter: How Hindu are you? It’s a Christmas tree.

Morgan: You know Richie's gay?
Danny: No Morgan a straight guy won Mr. Gay Fort Lauderdale. Yes I know he's gay.

I can't spend another Saturday night stalking ex-girlfriends on the internet hoping to find a breast feeding pic. I need to meet someone.

Peter

Danny: Take it easy Mrs. Robinson he's not for you.
Mindy: Ok I'm way too young to understand your Graduate reference.

If only Olivia Pope was here.

Mindy: I'm Indian I can't be racists.
Danny: Oh please you only hook up with white guys. I've hooked up with every race of woman.
Mindy: How dare you. I went to second base with my friend Korean Justin. His hands were so small they made my boobs feel enormous.

Breast feeding is like baseball. The less you think about it, the better you do.

Danny

Morning campers, did you all not catch Tuesday Boozeday this morning? Hoda was on fire!

Jeremy

Are you kidding me, a winky face? That’s like Emoji porn!

Morgan

You know that happened to me for real? Green Key Weekend, Junior year, I aspirated on my own vomit. Chris Farley appeared to me and said “It’s not your time yet.”

Peter

My favorite hobby is also activities!

Morgan
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 184 in total

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