Michael: Tube city. You owe me one.
Jim: [interview] Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles I picked was Michael's idea of running plastic tubes all over the office with hamsters inside of them. He called it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.

Holly: Michael, you cried at that tag line for a movie you made up.
Michael: He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.

Five minutes ahead of schedule... Right on schedule.

Dwight

Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight: Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time.

Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful and you don't ever get to see your pictures. If it's an important event, that you want to remember, I recommend using a real camera.

Erin

Michael: You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop da soap. Don't drop da soap.
Ryan: Michael, please.

Kevin: Oooh, now do the Swedish chef!
Andy: I'm not familiar, what province is he from?
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street, you dumbass.

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

I have no feeling in my fingers or penis, but I think it was worth it.

Dwight

Michael: Jim: You're 6-11 and weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela ... where's Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley laughs] Oscar, you're gay.

If you break that girl's heart I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart I will literally kill you and your entire family.

Michael [to Gabe]

Michael: Hey. Hey. Hey. You idiot.
Darryl: Start over.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy