Favorite The Office Quotes
Erin doesn't even like sex. Remember, you said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton.
Gabe
Alright. We are gonna ... we are gonna go out there, during this break, and we are gonna come back with a plan. We're gonna come back with a plan for you. It's a 45-day plan. 45 days! To get us back, on track. 45 points! It's a 45-day, 45-point, one point per day. We get 45 points, we're back in business! [cheers] And you can take that to the bank! And limo lady! We are going completely carbon-neutral! [more cheers] I love you New York! You! You!
Michael
Dwight: Don't you want to earn Schrute bucks?
Stanley: No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight: What's the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.
If you break that girl's heart I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart I will literally kill you and your entire family.
Michael [to Gabe]
Michael: Now you may look around and see two groups here: white-collar and blue-collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar blind.
Michael: Hey. Hey. Hey. You idiot.
Darryl: Start over.
Michael: Jim: You're 6-11 and weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela ... where's Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley laughs] Oscar, you're gay.
Oh no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.
Kevin
I have six roommates, which are better than friends because they have to give you one month's notice before they leave.
Toby
Why you always gotta be so mean to me?
Toby [to God]
You couldn't handle my undivided attention.
Dwight
