Popular The Office Quotes
Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.Michael
I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.Andy
Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.Michael
If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!Dwight
Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.Michael
When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.Andy
Dwight: Knock, knock.
Michael: Who's there?
Michael: KGB - [Dwight slaps Michael]
Dwight: [in Russian accent] We will ask the questions!
Michael: I lied to Kevin. Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together, and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I am going to tell her. Number one: "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." The ... and the reason is... because... in terms of the soup, we like to- that doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.
Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.Michael
A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.Kevin
Meredith: [reading birthday card] This one's from Michael, "Let's hope the only downsizing this year is that someone downsizes your age."
Michael: Get it? 'Cause of the downsizing. Rumors. And 'cause you're old.
Meredith: I get it.
Michael: Meredith is so old...(how old is she?) Meredith is so old, that when she went to an antique store, they kept her. I got that off the internet, it's not mine. Hey Meredith, Liz Taylor called she wants her age back and her divorces back! Get it? 'Cause she's getting old, and she's been divorced what, twice?
Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.Dwight