TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all...it's fear. Merry Christmas.

Dwight

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy

I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also never be less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life, because I am manager of the Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin...acting manager.

Dwight

Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.

Michael

If this were Russia, yeah sure. Everyone would go to one Santa, and there would be a line around the block and once you sat on her lap and she'd ask you what you wanted, you would say probably "freedom." At which point the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore.

Michael

A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.

Kevin

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael

Irene: What kind of tea is this?
Erin: Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 2596 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael