Michael: This is just like that show, Taxi Cab Confessions.
Pam: You say one more word, I'm stopping the car.
Michael: Sorry.

Karen: Hey dummy! Get in the car!
Jim: I'm a drunk driver.
Karen: Yes you are.

Jim: Hey, can I have a ride, man? I, uh, I have my bike.
Andy: No way, dude. I am not driving home. I brought an inflatable bed for just such occasions. You're welcome to share it, though. It's a roomy twin.
Jim: I'm okay.

Michael: Pam. When Carol said no tonight, I think I finally realized how you must be feeling. We are both the victims of broken engagements.
Pam: Well, you were never really engaged.
Michael: I was in that marriage arena, though.
Pam: Yeah.
Michael: Yeah.

Pam: It's hot in there. How's the naan?
Angela: Dry. You look like you were having fun.
Pam: I am. You should come dance with us.
Angela: I have to watch our shoes, so they don't get stolen. Who were you texting?
Pam: No one.

Andy: Hey, Big Tuna, you ready?
Jim: Yup.
Andy: [in a Scottish accent] One, two, three, SHOT!

Kelly: I don't even want to hear it, okay!? I did not come to Diwali to get yelled at!
Kelly's mom: Ryan is a temporary worker, makes no money! Wali is a whole doctor. So handsome, makes good money!
Kelly: You think I want to marry a doctor?!

I decided to come. Uh, I feel a little under-dressed, but at least I'm not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? Is that mean?

Pam

Carol: [wearing cheerleader outfit] I thought you said this was a costume party!
Michael: [pointing out a woman] What does that look like to you?
Carol: An Indian woman in a sari!
Michael: No one's even going to notice.
Kevin: Nice outfit.
Michael: Hey, Kevin! It's a costume, so why don't you just cool it, okay?

Phyllis: Isn't this fun? Not wearing shoes?
Angela: I wish some of us still had our shoes on.
Kevin: Stop it! It's a disease! I told you!

My Indian culture seminar was going great, until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people! Everybody does it! I'm doing it! With Carol! Probably tonight.

Michael

Michael: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who has seen that before?
Creed: I have. That's the Union of the Monkey.
Meredith: Oh, that's what they call it!
Kevin: This is the best meeting that we have ever had.
Michael: Thank you, Kevin.

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The Office Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. "What is Diwali?" you may ask. Well, to have Kelly explain it, "It's, blah blah blah blah. It's so super, fun, and it's gonna be great!" Lot of gods with unpronouncable names. Twenty minutes later, you find out that it is essentially a Hindu Halloween.

Michael

Michael: Nice dress, Ryan.
Kelly: It's not a dress, it's a kurtha!
Michael: [laughing] Oh, okay.

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