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Holy crap.

Phyllis

Michael's been trying to get me and Jim to hang out with him ever since he started dating my mom. I don't know. I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom and we have to go. No way out. No ... way ... out.

Pam

Why did I get in the car? I could have struggled. I have a whistle in my purse, I didn't even blow it.

Pam

Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him.

Meredith

Dwight: Pam would you care for a bagel?
Pam: Oh, no thank you.
Dwight: Oh, that's right, you're a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again. Please Pam, reconsider and have a bagel.
Pam: I have an early lunch.

Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Jeez. When did everyone get sooooo cynical?

Dwight

Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch, there is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your "Gee I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother." And fixes all occurrences of "I don't really see them together." So, open wide, Pam, and take a big ol' spoonful of birthday lunch medicine... Take with food.

Michael

You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.

Andy

I used to love coming here. The chicken parm is good, big part of my childhood. Oh! Maybe Michael will start dating that too.

Pam

Pam: You're bribing me.
Michael: No! No, no... Unless you want me to! Do you want me to? Because I will. I will bribe you. No... Your face is saying, don't? Unless I haven't offered you enough? Your face isn't changing. What is it! Talk to me face, tell me what Pam's brain is thinking.

Pam: The cake's really good.
Helene: Oh I know! I love when they use butter cream frosting.
Michael: Finish your cake, Helene. I want you to enjoy that cake. Because I have something terrible I need to tell you. And I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.

Ryan: Hey, quick question. Are you scared?
Michael: Never. About what? A little. What are you talking about?
Ryan: We heard about the punch.
Michael: What punch?
Kelly: Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work.
Michael: I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Kelly: No. It's a punch. And Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Ryan: I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Michael: I... umm... I'm good.
Ryan: Alright. See you there.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

The Office Season 6 Episode 9 Quotes

The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you. And I am not robbing the cradle. If anything, I am robbing the grave.

Michael

As I watched Pam's big strong hand coming toward my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover car and a hover house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And... I'm happy and I'm rich and I never die. That doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me.

Michael
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