Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Jeez. When did everyone get sooooo cynical?
Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch, there is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your "Gee I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother." And fixes all occurrences of "I don't really see them together." So, open wide, Pam, and take a big ol' spoonful of birthday lunch medicine... Take with food.