The Office

The Office "Grief Counseling" Quotes

Dwight: I'm sorry! I grew up on a farm! We killed a pig whenever we wanted bacon! And when my grandfather died, we reburied him in an old oil drum! It would have fit, if he had just given me another minute!
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Did I wake up this morning thinking I would be throwing together a bird funeral? You never can tell what your day here is going to turn into.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: If you wanna do something for the funeral...
Dwight: Yes, please.
Pam: Maybe you could play a song on your recorder.
Dwight: Excellent.
Pam: Do you have it with you?
Dwight: Always.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: I was trying to throw this party once, and everyone was over for the weekend. And then my Uncle Bernie died. So then me and my best friend had to pretend like he was alive.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was... he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeasts and we all took it really hard. All of us, kind of in the audience, of what happened.
Michael: Do you want to talk about it anymore?
Ryan: Oh, it would probably take me like an hour and a half to tell that whole story.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Let's see... I had an aunt, that I was really close to; she was this amazing female boxer. Anyway, she was injured in a fight, and she was paralyzed. So, you can imagine how sad I was... when I found out that she asked her manager to remove her breathing tube, so she could die.
Michael: Wow. If you wanna cry, that's okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: There are five stages to grief which are... [reading from computer] Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance and right now, out there. They are all denying the fact that they're sad and that's hard and it's making them all angry. And it is my job to get them all the way through to Acceptance and if not Acceptance then Depression...If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Andy: Hey. What are we doing? What's the game? I want in.
Jim: Oh, there's no game. We're just trying to get these chips for Karen.
Andy: Did you... check the vending machine?
Karen: Oh, the vending machines! How did we miss that?
Jim: I have no idea. We went right for the copier... and then we checked the fax machine...
Andy: Did you... check... your... butt!?
 • Rating: Unrated

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