Carol: Did you have a doctor check it out?
Michael: I'm between specialists right now.

Helene: What did you think we were?
Michael: Just a quirky indy movie, weird sort of thing.

Andy: Can anyone else name a consequence of sex?
Kevin: It feels unbelievable.

Holly: Michael, you cried at that tag line for a movie you made up.
Michael: He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.

Donna: Michael, I didn't think I'd hear from you. How have you been?
Michael: I have a disease, of which there is no known cure. It has been sexually transmitted to me. I can't even say it. H-I-R-P-E-E-S.

There are many reasons a man would wear a fake mustache to work. He's a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise. He loves other things as well.


Dwight: I left him all the tools he needs. This is do or die. If he chooses correctly, he will conquer the hornets.
Andy: And if he doesn't?
Dwight: He'll die.
Everyone: What? Beg your pardon?
Dwight: When did the phrase "Do or die" become so corrupted?

Phyllis: I got stung up my dress.
Dwight: Poor hornet.

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