The Office

The Office "The Merger" Quotes

Michael: Sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. Although that'll change. Because, by the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Last weekend, I outran a black pepper snake.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Kelly: Jim!!! Oh my god, I have so much to tell you. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a baby, and they named it Suri! And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie also had a baby, and they named is Shiloh! And both babies are amaziiiing!
Jim: Wow, so, uh, what's new with you?
Kelly: I just told you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Karen: Does Bob Vance work for Vance Refrigeration?
Jim: Does he ever.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: This is an orientation, not a bore-ientation.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phyllis: Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in Metropolitan Orlando. It's made from real pine.
Karen: Who's Bob Vance?
Phyllis: You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Dwight: Hello. I don't believe we've been introduced. Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
Andy: Andy Bernard, Regional Director in charge of Sales.
Dwight: So you'll be reporting to me then.
Andy: On the contrary.
Dwight: My title has "manager" in it.
Andy: And I'm a director. Which on a film set is the highest title there is. Do you know anything about film?
Dwight: I know everything about film. I've seen over 240 of them.
Andy: Congratulations.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: You know who I really like? Is this guy Andy Bernard. He has got this very likeable way about him.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Hello.
Michael: Ah, you must be Andy Bernard. Aloha and welcome!
Andy: And you must be Michael Scott. Aloha and hel-lo!
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I'll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a... carpenter... that makes stairs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite quote from "The Merger?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!