The Office Season 5 Quotes
I don't care if you're gay, straight, engaged... whatever. A guy needs intercourse.
Andy
Andy: Alright, I've scoped out the joint. Those two dudes are as good as naked.
Oscar: How do you even know they're gay?
Andy: C'mon! It's Dandy Dale and Foppy McGee over there. Mademoiselle! Beer me dos Long Island iced teas s'ill vous plait... Bad decision in a glass.
A concierge is like the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.
Michael
Oscar: I'll check us in.
Michael: Alright.
Andy: Very cool.
Michael: Very cool.
Andy: We are going to find out where the action is, my friend.
Michael: Okay.
Andy: Where's the concierge?
Michael: Yes! Wallace said there would be one of those.
No. Not going to happen. He has hurt me too much and too often. And I am in a healthy relationship so I'm not gonna flaunt it and I'm not gonna hurt him, but that door is closed.
Kelly
Ryan: Just checking out where I'm going to be pretty soon. When Pam gets back. Gonna be close quarters. Gonna be a lot of tension.
Kelly: For you. I'm with Darryl.
Ryan: This looks like where I'll probably do my pushups every day.
Kelly: Is that supposed to impress me?
Michael: Welcome to Cribs-the business class edition. Check this out. Mimosa.
Andy: Ah... sweet!
Michael: Handed to me as I sat down. This was my hot towel. It is still wet.
Andy: Michael Gary Scott, rollin' like a pimp!
I was happy to send Michael on this trip. He's been feeling pretty down since we had to transfer Holly to New Hampshire. But this littler perk really seemed to turn him around. And it's pretty tough to find somebody who wants to go up to Winnipeg mid-November.
Dave Wallace
Pam comes back from New York next week and everyone here has just been so excited for me. And involved. And intrusive. And weird.
Jim
My boss is sending me abroad to do a presentation to an international client and I have always been intrigued by all things international. The women, the pancakes, the man of mystery.
Michael
Michael: Did you know that in Morocco it is common to exchange a small gift when meeting somebody for the first time? In Japan you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.
Jim: Why are you telling us this?
Michael: I am jetting off on an international business trip.
Jim: Where are you going?
Michael: To Can-A-da.
Jim: Where?
Michael: Canada.
Jim: Okay.
Dwight: Congratulations on choosing Schrute Farms for your wedding.
Andy: We haven't decided on anything yet. We're still reviewing some options, and it's gonna come down to the numbers.
Dwight: Well, then. Why don't you look over some of our materials?
Andy: Oh. Hmm.
Dwight: [looking at Angela] While I describe to you the Excalibur package. In addition to the breathtaking natural beauty and smell of Schrute Farms, I can promise you that our grounds can be catered to fit your exact specifications. I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months and be at your constant disposal. Please feel free to call or stop by, any time of the day or night.
Andy: That's very generous.
Dwight: While you, my good friend, have nothing more to worry about. This wedding is officially out of your hands.
Andy: Oh, thank the good Lord. Deal!
Dwight: OK.
Andy: Um, what are we talking price wise?
Dwight: You already said deal.
Angela: Pay him whatever he wants.
Andy: Can't argue with that.
