The Office Season 5 Quotes
Jim: I think you're right. I think it was Kelly. I think she's mad at us for not coming to her party.
Dwight: Oh, man, I knew it. Who are her co-conspirators?
Jim: Probably just Kelly.
Dwight: Obviously. I knew it.
Jim: That's what I'm saying.
Dwight: Yeah. What?
Jim: You were right.
Dwight: I was - I was right.
Jim: You were right.
Dwight: I was right.
Jim: You knew it.
Dwight: I knew it.
Jim: You knew it the whole time, buddy.
Dwight: I knew it the whole time, buddy! [shoves Jim]
Jim: Wow.
Dwight: Yeah! Woo-hoo!
Jim: Hey, how's things?
Ryan: All right.
Jim: Yeah?
Ryan: Living in the moment.
Jim: Do you have any reason to believe that Kelly would be mad at me?
Ryan: I don't play the politics game anymore, Jim. Can I tell you something? I played it full on in New York. I played it high stakes. For keeps. Made it to the top. But look what it cost.
I found it. I found the perfect place. A local bed-and-breakfast on a 60-acre beet farm. And even better, I have an in with the owner. Oh, yeah. We work together. It's Dwight Schrute. As in Schrute Farms.
Andy
Jim: I'm not talking to you.
Dwight: Who are you talking to?
Jim: Pam.
Dwight: She's not here, Jim
Jim: No, she's not.
Andy: So it's called the Shangri-La Tent. It's two stories, heated and has a bridal suite for my bridal sweet. It's just really simple, really tasteful.
Angela: I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo.
Andy: Hobos live in trains.
Angela: Nana Mimi can't be in canvas that long.
I need a decent bonus, because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house so that they can retire. And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford.
Jim
I found the best tentist on the east coast. He personally tented Giuliani's first and third weddings. And I got him. I got him!
Andy
I've caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser.
Dwight
Michael: Hey, sport.
Dwight: I heard someone got engaged, you dog, huh? [punches Michael's shoulder]
Michael: Ow! God!
Dwight: Oh, nothing can hurt you now. You're a man in love!
[cut to Darryl]
Darryl: I was there. That dude is not engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'll go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay.
Andy: I thought I'd come in casual today. Man, I'm hungry. Anyone else feel like a beet?
Dwight: Where did you get those?
Andy: What, these? Bernard Farms. Best beets in the state.
Dwight: I see what you are doing. But I do not know where you are going with this.
Andy: Well you will. Soon as you visit ... my new beet farm.
[Dwight has hung a large Cornell banner from the ceiling]
Andy: Take that down.
Dwight: Excuse me?
Andy: Take. That. Down.
Meredith: You know I once dated a couple of guys from Cornell. They were really nice. They gave me a ride home.
Andy: I seriously doubt that anyone from Cornell dated you.
Creed: It's pronounced Ker-nell. It's the highest rank in the military.
Andy: It's pronounced "Corn-ell!" It's the highest rank in the Ivy League!
If I had to put Dwight's chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance.
Andy
