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The-simpsons

(On the phone) Lord, give me guidance... That's right, the guidance department. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.

Principal Skinner

Lisa: I've got something! The sixth grade security camera shows three empty desks.
Principal Skinner: Enhance!
(Camera zooms in on desk with "Skinner Stinks" carved into it)
Principal Skinner: De-hance! De-hance!

Simpson! I'll teach you to make a Poupon me!

Principal Skinner

Oh my god! If a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!

</i> Apu

Bart: I might be able to stop them, but I need a schematic of Jimbo's house!
Lisa: Jimbo drew a couple pictures of his house in second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave them a frowny face.

I've got a man down! Well, not a man, a very special boy.

</i> Bart

Teens? In Willie's hidey-hole? I'll mop up your blood from the inside!

Groundskeeper Willie

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? Uhh, I'm Ahmed Adoodie.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
Chloe O' Brian: Ahmed Adoodie, wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late 90's.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack. It's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Dammit!

Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've already read it.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

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