The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've already read it.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

(On the phone) Lord, give me guidance... That's right, the guidance department. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.

Principal Skinner

Lisa: I've got something! The sixth grade security camera shows three empty desks.
Principal Skinner: Enhance!
(Camera zooms in on desk with "Skinner Stinks" carved into it)
Principal Skinner: De-hance! De-hance!

Simpson! I'll teach you to make a Poupon me!

Principal Skinner

Oh my god! If a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!

</i> Apu

Bart: I might be able to stop them, but I need a schematic of Jimbo's house!
Lisa: Jimbo drew a couple pictures of his house in second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave them a frowny face.

I've got a man down! Well, not a man, a very special boy.

</i> Bart

Teens? In Willie's hidey-hole? I'll mop up your blood from the inside!

Groundskeeper Willie

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? Uhh, I'm Ahmed Adoodie.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
Chloe O' Brian: Ahmed Adoodie, wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late 90's.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack. It's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Dammit!

Oh my special little guy! I'm so glad you're okay.
(Homer kisses Bart)
Homer And I'm so glad you taste like hotdogs!

</i> Marge

(Homer picks up the bomb which has 7 seconds left till it blows)
Homer: Oh a thermos! And it has 7 cups of coffee left.
(The bomb changes to 6)
Homer: No wait, 6.
Lisa: Dad! That's a bomb!
Homer: Ah! You take it!

Previously on 24 I mean The Simpsons.

Jack Bauer
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 20 in total

The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 21 Quotes

(On the phone) Lord, give me guidance... That's right, the guidance department. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.

Principal Skinner

Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've already read it.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.