The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Bart Gets Hit by a Car" Quotes (Page 3)

Bart: (in court and in tears) Luckily, I was not killed that day. Though sometimes I wish I had been.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Marge: Mmm Yes, I do.
Hutz: She sounded like she was taking that awful seriously.
 • Rating: Unrated

Burns: I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper. It's not quite as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair.
(draws a giant zero)
Hutz: I think we should take it.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Smithers checks on Bart after Mr. Burns hits him.)
Smithers: Uh-oh. I, uh-I think the boy's hurt.
Mr. Burns: Oh, for crying out loud! Just give him a nickel and let's get going.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer's Brain: A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.
Marge: Homer would you like some more macaroni and cheese?
Homer's Brain: Yeah, a million dollars worth, you treacherous snake woman.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some string beans?
Homer's Brain: No, I don't want any string beans either, you two-timing, backstabbing--Uh-oh. Better answer.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some celery with cream cheese on it?
Homer's Brain: Just mouth polite nothings.
Homer: No, thank you.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer and Marge make up at Moe's bar)
Moe: Okay, everybody, for the next 15 minutes, one-third off on every pitcher! (Crowd cheers) Hey, one per customer. Domestic beer only. Hey, no sharing!
 • Rating: Unrated

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