The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Lenny: Hey, Simpson, I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy!
Homer: Yeah, if I wasn't so spineless, I'd march right into his office right now, and...
Smithers: Simpson! Mr. Burns wants you to march into his office right now
Homer: Uh-oh!

Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?
Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?

Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Homer: Will that hold up in court?
Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it before.

Hmm, well, to be honest, he seemed a lot more concerned about wrapping Bart in bandages than in making him feel better. And he mispronounced words that even I know, like abdomen... and his office was dirty. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he was even a doctor!

Marge

According to this, you're not due to arrive here the next time the Yankees win the pennant; that's nearly a century from now. (Chuckles) Boy, is my face red.

Devil

Lionel Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water.
Homer: Ooh, classy.

Please hold onto the handrail. Do not spit over the side.

Voice from Heaven

One million dollars is a-okay.

Homer

Lawyer: Your Honor, my client has instructed me to remind the court how rich and important he is, and that he is not like other men.
Mr. Burns: I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!

Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing, we've squabbled over money before. I mean, I know this is different than the time I washed your pants with the 20 in the pocket.

Marge

Bart: I did go away, mom, I was miles and miles and miles away. Dying in agony in the pits of hell. And you were there! And you, and you, and you... and you I've never seen before!
Homer: (to Lionel Hutz) Yeah who are you anyway? I saw you chasing Bart's ambulance.

Hey, cool, I'm dead.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 26 in total

The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 Quotes

Homer's Brain: A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.
Marge: Homer would you like some more macaroni and cheese?
Homer's Brain: Yeah, a million dollars worth, you treacherous snake woman.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some string beans?
Homer's Brain: No, I don't want any string beans either, you two-timing, backstabbing--Uh-oh. Better answer.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some celery with cream cheese on it?
Homer's Brain: Just mouth polite nothings.
Homer: No, thank you.

Okay, everybody, for the next 15 minutes, one-third off on every pitcher! (Crowd cheers) Hey, one per customer. Domestic beer only. Hey, no sharing!

Moe