Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.

Lance Murdoch

Ladies and gentlemen, the ten-year-old who's brave and bold! When he's not in class, he's risking his ass, the world's greatest daredevil, Bart Simpson!

Announcer in Bart's dream

D'oh! How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this piece of junk?

</i> Homer

(Bart announces his jump over Springfield Gorge.)
Lisa: (Worried) Springfield Gorge? Bart, you'll be killed.
Bart: Lisa, I don't know how to explain this, but I get the same thrill out of jumpin' over stuff that you do fromreading.

Oh cruel Fate, why do you mock me?

Homer

(Lisa, Bart and his friends watch wrestling on TV)
Bart: Two titans at the height of their careers. Ahh, if you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously. Even a five-year-old knows that this is as choreographed as any ballet.
(Cut to Homer, who is at Moe's watching the same thing and talking to Barney.)
Homer: Eh, Rasputin's got the reach. But on the other hand, the professor's got his patented coma lock. If you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.

Principal Skinner: Tonight Sherbert's, heh, heh, Shubert's Unfinished Symphony.
Homer: Oh, good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.

Lance Murdoch: (after trying to give a thumbs-up) Doc, I heard a snap.
Dr. Hibbert: Hmm, I'm afraid the bone is broken. Well, that's all of them.

Otto: (Singing, to tune of "Foxy Lady" over Bus microphone) Do do doo, do doo do doo, do do do doo.
Bart: Hey Otto, can I use that microphone.
Otto: ..doo do do (Switches off) Sorry Bart dude, it's for emergencies only. (Switches back on) Doo doo doo.

Dr. Hibbert: This little boy broke his leg, trying to fly like Superman. This little boy's brother hit him in the head with a wrench, mimicking a recent TV wrestling match. I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.
Marge: Gee, I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence.

Milhouse: Oh no, he's hurt.
Lewis: Bad!
Milhouse: Let's get out of here!

Lance Murdock: Now, on the chance I don't survive, let me just say: Seat belts save lives, so buckle up!

The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen, the ten-year-old who's brave and bold! When he's not in class, he's risking his ass, the world's greatest daredevil, Bart Simpson!

Announcer in Bart's dream

Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.

Lance Murdoch