Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Marge: Mom, you made it! How are you?
Jacqueline: I have laryngitis. It hurts to talk, so I'll just say one thing: You never do anything right.

Grampa: What's your hurry?
Homer: This place is depressing.
Grampa: Hey!I live here!
Homer: I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.

Bart: Who the hell is that?
Homer: Bullwinkle.
Bart: Who? Wait a minute, who's that?
Homer: Underdog, don't you know anything?
Bart: It wouldn't hurt them to use some cartoons made in the last fifty years.
Homer: Bart, this is the tradition. If you build a balloon for every flash in the pad cartoon character, you'll turn the parade into a farce.
(Bart balloon shows up on the television)

Homer: And lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family's experienced. Well, not today, you saw what happened! Oh lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what?
Family: Amen.
Selma: Worst prayer yet.

Homer: Alright Bart, that's it! Go to your room! Now!
Bart: Okay, I'll take some white meat and some stuffing to go and send in the pumpkin pie in about twenty minutes.
Homer: I said now!
Bart: Mom do I have too?
Marge: Yes you do! I hope your happy Bart! You ruined Thanksgiving!

Alright! Twelve bucks and free grub to boot! Viva skid row!

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!

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