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The-simpsons

Homer: This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or else I'll take away the glue and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue, it's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Bart: Oh yeah, prove it (she hands him the glue) Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue.

See Maggie, those silver-and-blue guys are the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team. And he wants them to lose by less than five and a half points. Understand?

Homer

At the risk of losing my voice, let me just say one more thing... (Everyone listens carefully) ...I'm sorry I came.

Jacqueline

Let's go! If I'm not back at the home by nine they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance!

Grampa

Marge: Now we can blame him for everything!
Homer: It's your fault I'm bald.
Abe: It's your fault I'm old.
Maggie: It's your fault I can't talk!
Uncle Sam: It's your fault America has lost its way!
Everyone: It's all your fault! It's all your fault! It's all your fault!

Oh we have lots of names for these people. Bums, deadbeats, losers, scums of the earth, we'd like to sweep these people into the gutter, or if already in the gutter, to some other out of the way place. Oh we have our reasons. They're depressing, their ragged clothes, they're crazy, they smell bad. So every year on one conscience salving day, we toss these people a bone. A turkey bone. And that's supposed to make it all better.

Kent Brockman

Patty: When is that boy going to apologize?
Selma: He sure is stubborn.
Grampa: Homer was never stubborn. He always folded instantly over everything. It was as if he had no will of his own. Isn't that true, Homer?
Homer: Yes, dad!

Lady: Hey, you gotta be eighteen to sell your blood, lets see some ID.
Bart: Here you go, doll face!
Lady: Okay, Homer, just relax.

Hello, operator! Give me the number for 911!

Homer
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