The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Bart vs. Thanksgiving" Quotes

Grampa: Let's go! If I'm not back at the home by nine they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jacqueline: At the risk of losing my voice, let me just say one more thing... (Everyone listens carefully) ...I'm sorry I came.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: See Maggie, those silver-and-blue guys are the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team. And he wants them to lose by less than five and a half points. Understand?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or else I'll take away the glue and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue, it's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Bart: Oh yeah, prove it (she hands him the glue) Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Who the hell is that?
Homer: Bullwinkle.
Bart: Who? Wait a minute, who's that?
Homer: Underdog, don't you know anything?
Bart: It wouldn't hurt them to use some cartoons made in the last fifty years.
Homer: Bart, this is the tradition. If you build a balloon for every flash in the pad cartoon character, you'll turn the parade into a farce.
(Bart balloon shows up on the television)
 • Rating: Unrated

Grampa: What's your hurry?
Homer: This place is depressing.
Grampa: Hey!I live here!
Homer: I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Mom, you made it! How are you?
Jacqueline: I have laryngitis. It hurts to talk, so I'll just say one thing: You never do anything right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: And lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family's experienced. Well, not today, you saw what happened! Oh lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what?
Family: Amen.
Selma: Worst prayer yet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lady: Hey, you gotta be eighteen to sell your blood, lets see some ID.
Bart: Here you go, doll face!
Lady: Okay, Homer, just relax.
 • Rating: Unrated

Patty: When is that boy going to apologize?
Selma: He sure is stubborn.
Grampa: Homer was never stubborn. He always folded instantly over everything. It was as if he had no will of his own. Isn't that true, Homer?
Homer: Yes, dad!
 • Rating: Unrated

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