The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Black Widower" Quotes

Papa Dinosaur: Would you turn off that Rock and Rock music?
Baby Dinosaur: Hey, don't have a Stegosaurus, man!
Lisa: These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on TV!
Homer: Look Maggie, they have a baby too!
 • Rating: Unrated

Selma: Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sideshow Bob: Selma, would you mind if I did something bold and shocking in front of your family?
Selma: All right, but no tongues.
Sideshow Bob: Although kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind. Selma, will you marry me?
Bart: Don't be a fool, Aunt Selma. That man is scum.
Selma: Then call me Mrs. Scum.
 • Rating: Unrated

(vision test at the DMV)
Hans Moleman: A, G, Q, 7.
Selma: Close enough. May you drive safely, and find true love.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Ooh, appetizers!
Sideshow Bob: Well Homer, what should we serve?
Homer: Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce, it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup.
 • Rating: Unrated

Selma: What did I miss?
Patty: MacGyver was wearing a tank top!
Selma: Dang!
Sideshow Bob: Well Selma, I thought I was the only man in your life?
Selma: Sit down and shut up!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: I could have been the flower girl; I wouldn't keep falling down, either!
Bart: Hey, they chose Maggie, okay?
Lisa: Yeah, well if you wanna go for cutesiness instead of competence, fine.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Krusty, say something funny!
Krusty: Uh, gee, a joke, uuhummeh ah funny, okay, this guy walks into a bar, he takes out a tiny piano, and a twelve inch pianist, oh, no, wait, I can't tell that one!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chief Wiggum: If he was going to commit a crime, would he have invited the number one cop in town? Now where did I put my gun? Oh yeah, I set it down when I got a piece of cake.
 • Rating: Unrated

Selma: And here's another breathtaking sight... my brand new hubby!
Sideshow Bob: I wanted a room with a fireplace you blasted monkey... Oh Selma dear... I was just chatting with my good friend... Dennis! Now, smile for the camera, there's a good lad!
 • Rating: Unrated

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