Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Marge: How was your day at work, dear?
Homer: Oh, the usual...stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough...

Doctor: This can't be right; this man has 104% body fat! Hey, no eating in the tank!
Homer: Go to hell!

Homer: I miss my couch.
Joe Frazier: I know how you feel, you lost the couch, I lost the heavyweight championship.
Homer: PfftHeavyweight Championship, there's like, three of those!

Homer: All right, Herb. I'll give you the money, but first you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother.
Herb: Nope.
Homer: All right, then just give me the drinking bird.

Bart: Unckie Herb, what advice would you give to a young boy who would most likely become a bum like yourself?
Herb: Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.

Lisa: This award is the biggest crock I ever saw.
Bart: What about the Emmys?
Lisa: I stand corrected.

Why did this have to happen now during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?

Homer

Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service... but those were all dead ends. I think this chair is the answer.

Homer

Homer: Herb, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew 2,000 bucks on it when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
Herb: Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?!
Homer: I tried, but I can't.

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