The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?" Quotes

Bart: Unckie Herb, what advice would you give to a young boy who would most likely become a bum like yourself?
Herb: Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: How was your day at work, dear?
Homer: Oh, the usual...stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough...
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: All right, Herb. I'll give you the money, but first you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother.
Herb: Nope.
Homer: All right, then just give me the drinking bird.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I miss my couch.
Joe Frazier: I know how you feel, you lost the couch, I lost the heavyweight championship.
Homer: PfftHeavyweight Championship, there's like, three of those!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: This award is the biggest crock I ever saw.
Bart: What about the Emmys?
Lisa: I stand corrected.
 • Rating: Unrated

Doctor: This can't be right; this man has 104% body fat! Hey, no eating in the tank!
Homer: Go to hell!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

TV Announcer: Except for huge gaps in the western states, "Hands Across America" was a complete success.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Herb: (On his back, holding Maggie up) The pitch is insufficient for "burp me", and this jigsaw motion is something I've never(Maggie throws up on him) Eureka.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maggie: Blablueeeh. (with the machine Herb invented) I have soiled myselfhow embarrassing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Professor Frink: This radio controlled plane gives your baby the chance to fly, just like my son here, he can execute the barrel roll, loopy loop, and bring it in for the perfect landing *smash*. Oh dear... my wife is going to kill me.
 • Rating: Unrated

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