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The-simpsons

The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Bart

(On the phone)
Marge: I'm just really worried about your weight. Bart says that we got a call from NASA, and your gravity is pulling satellites out of their orbit.
Homer: Marge, that was a joke.
Marge: But it comes from a true place.

Moe: Who wants to abolish democracy forever? Show of hands.
Carl: I could really go for some kind of military thing like, uh, Juan Pern. When he disappeared ya, you stayed disappeared.
Lenny: Plus his wife was Madonna.

(Kent Brockman reports on the Springfield presidential primary.)
Kent Brockman: With Springfield's primary now first in the nation, our humble city is overrun with candidates, newshounds, spin doctors, hacks, flacks, Russerts, Blitzers and even the occasional voter. (to Moe) Sir, do have a preference?
Moe: Yeah, I like girls, fruit loop.
Kent Brockman: Oh. Are you a registered voter?
Moe: I'm a registered something.

Marge: This election is on every channel.
Homer: Come on, Marge. It's primary fever. Catch it!
Marge: That's what you said about yellow fever, and that was no fun.

(Gasps) A drive-up trash can. This must be how the rich toss out their gold.

</i> Homer

Nelson: (to Washington Post reporter) Haw-haw! Your medium is dying!
Principal Skinner: Nelson!
Nelson: But it is.
Principal Skinner: There's being right and there's being nice.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a future where food is brought by "waiters..." where the chairs aren't attached to the tables... and where I can't ditch my kids in a pit of dirty balls.

</i> Homer

(An alarming amount of presidential hopefuls descend on the Simpson house when they see that the Simpsons haven't decided who to vote for yet.)
Homer: If you haven't sprung from or aren't married to my loins, get the hell out of this house!
(All the candidates leave, except for someone hiding behind a plant.)
Homer: You too, Fred Thompson!
Fred Thompson: But I was in Die Hard.
Homer: (Scoffs) Die Hard Two!

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