The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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(While watching a glowing Homer behind an X-ray)
Dr. Hibbert: Now Mrs. Simpson, what you see here is the radioactive dye we injected into your husband's bloodstream.
Nurse: But doctor! I haven't injected the dye yet!
Dr. Hibbert: Dear lord...

(Marge, Patty and Selma are clipping discount coupons.)
Patty: Buy three tubes of Mister Blister, get one free.
(The phone rings. Marge answers)
Marge: Hello. Yes? Oh my Lord!" (Hangs up) Homer's in the hospital, they think it's his heart!
Patty: Oh my God!
Selma: What?
Patty: Five cents off wax paper!
(Selma slaps her cheek in amazement)

Dr. Hibbert: Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation.
Homer: Say it in English, Doc.
Dr. Hibbert: You're going to need open heart surgery.
Homer: Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo.
Dr. Hibbert: We're going to cut you open, and tinker with your ticker.
Homer: Could you dumb it down a shade?

Homer: I keep hearing this irregular thumping noise.
Gas Station Attendant: It's your heart, and I think it's on its last thump!
Homer: Whew, I was afraid it was my transmission.
(Homer drives off.)
Kid: Where's he going?
Gas Station Attendant: You remember that old Plymouth we just couldn't fix?
Kid: We're going to sell him to Mr. Nikopopolous?!
Gas Station Attendant: You're a dull boy, Billy.

Apu: Poor Mister Homer. Could it be that my snack treats are responsible for his wretched health?
Customer: Give me some jerky.
Apu: Would you like some vodka with that?
Customer: Oh, what the hell, sure.

Displaying quotes 13 - 17 of 17 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 11 Quotes

The knee bone's connected to the something. The something's connected to the red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.

Dr. Nick

Barney: If Homer wants to be a woman, so be it.
Homer: Barney, I'm not getting a sex change!