The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17: "Old Money" Quotes
Grampa: Out of my way, I got a date with an angel.
Jasper: You don't know how right you are, Abe.
Jasper: I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night.
Grampa: Oh no.
Jasper: It was her ticker. The doctor said her left ventricle burst.
Grampa: No, Jasper. They may say she died from a burst ventricle, but I know she died of a broken heart.
- Permalink: Out of my way, I got a date with an angel. You don't know how ...
Bea: So, um, (Clears throat) tell me about yourself.
Grampa: Uh, widower, one son, one working kidney. And you?
Bea: Widowed, bad hip and liver disorder.
- Permalink: So, um, <i>(Clears throat)</i> tell me about yourself. Uh, wid...
A double cheeseburger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, and, for God's sakes, hurry!</i> Homer
- Permalink: <i>(Homer at a Krusty Burger drive thru.)</i> A double cheeseb...
Grampa: Oh, Lisa, what makes you think you deserve all that money?
Lisa: I don't deserve it, Grampa. No one here does. The people who deserve it are on the streets, and they're in the slums. They're little children who need more library books and families who can't make ends meet. Of course, if you really wanted to, you could buy me a pony.
Grampa: You're right!
Lisa: I'll name her Princess, and I'll ride her every day!
- Permalink: Oh, Lisa, what makes you think you deserve all that money? I d...
(Grampa comes home and forgives Homer.)
Grampa: Sonny boy!
(The two hug.)
Grampa: Is there room at your table for a foolish old man?
Homer: Well, sure! Eh, we'll have to move a chair in from the den. But it's no problem. Bart!
- Permalink: <i>(Grampa comes home and forgives Homer.)</i> Dad? Sonny bo...
(Grampa rides a roller coaster alone.)
Grampa: I miss Bea.
(Bea's ghost appears in the seat next to Grampa.)
Bea: I miss you too.
Grampa: (Screams in fright)
Bea: Oh, Abraham, calm down. I'm not here to scare you. They've got me haunting a family in Texas.
- Permalink: <i>(Grampa rides a roller coaster alone.)</i> I miss Bea. <i>...
(Grampa mourns Bea alone in his room.)
Lionel Hutz: It was a beautiful service, wasn't it, Mr. Simpson?
Grampa: (Yells) Who the hell are you?
Lionel Hutz: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law! I'm the executor of Beatrice Simmons' estate. Mr. Simpson, Bea was a wealthy woman and, surprise, surprise, she left everything to you.
Lionel Hutz: There is one catch. You must spend one night ina haunted house!
Lionel Hutz: (Chuckles) Just kidding, just kidding.
- Permalink: <i>(Grampa mourns Bea alone in his room.)</i> It was a beautif...
(At Bea's funeral.)
Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad.
Grampa: (Sarcastically) Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything.
Homer: Oh no! Dad's lost his hearing!
- Permalink: <i>(At Bea's funeral.)</i> I can't tell you how sorry I am, Da...
Grampa: Eh, what are you, uh, doing tonight?
Bea: Sitting alone in my room.
Grampa: (Disappointed) Oh, well, if you've got plans already--
- Permalink: Eh, what are you, uh, doing tonight? Sitting alone in my room....