The Simpsons

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From now on the only witch in Lisa's life is which boy will marry her.

Marge

Skinner: It will be featured in the fifth grade play of the Crucible.
Superintendent Chalmers: Good seats still available and by that I mean seats in the back where you can fall asleep.

Are you sure? Because we've brought you a lot of flimsy cases. Like that goat we accused of income tax evasion.

Chief Wiggum

Bart: Your honor, I'd like to enter something into the record.
Judge: Strangely, I'll allow it.
Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a big dummy with a stupid job. I write down what other people say just like a big dummy would. Could the court reporter read that back?
Court Reporter: I'm a big dummy with a stupid job... hey!

Just as I feared, her Buddhism has led directly to witchcraft.

Flanders [about Lisa]

Lisa: I am interested in learning more about Wicca. Are you a minority group as defined by Ivy League admissions?
Wiccan: Cornell and Dartmouth.

I hate traffic, the band and the phenomenon.

Homer
Displaying all 7 quotes

The Simpsons Season 21 Episode 7 Quotes

Lisa: I am interested in learning more about Wicca. Are you a minority group as defined by Ivy League admissions?
Wiccan: Cornell and Dartmouth.

I hate traffic, the band and the phenomenon.

Homer