The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 20: "Stop or My Dog Will Shoot" Quotes
You look like you're trying to eat me. Need some help?Microsoft Paper Clip
Bart: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? He's not slimy at all, he's scaly.
Lisa: (After touching the snake) Eww! He is slimy!
Bart: That's because I soaked him in slime!
Dad, why don't you throw me in the air and I can see which way is out? (he does) Corn. (again) More corn. (again) Another kid getting thrown in the air. (again) Witches' coven. (again) Seattle Space Needle. (again) Amateur production of You Can't Take It With You. (again) Oh, I'm getting dizzy. (again) And corn again.</i> Lisa
Oh man! It's like the chemicals cut one!Bart
Judge Snyder: You stand accused of giving hope to scrawny young men. How do you plead?
Snake: Guilty of being innocent!
(Crowd laughs, Santa's Little Helper growls)
(to Santa's Little Helper) Nobody stays when you say freeze, you might as well say run.Lou
(to Cletus) You gave that hog a day of beauty and you give me nothing!Brandine
(lost in the corn maze)
Marge: Maybe we should split up.
Homer: Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this marriage!
Marge: No, no, I didn't mean--
Homer: Fine, you want out? Then go, I can make it on my own! Before I met you, I had friends and dreams!
Marge: I was talking about--
Homer: Oh, please take me back! (sobbing) The dating scene is a nightmare! I'm begging you!
Marge: I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze.
Homer: Deep down, I-- I guess I knew that.
Marge: Now, there must be a way out.
Homer: Of our marriage? I don't want to live! (runs off screaming)
Homer: (offscreen) Hey, this maze is made of corn.
(To Man, Gasping) You stuffed your horn?Homer
(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!Bart
Lisa: What if Santa's Little Helper stops being a police dog, then he can get a non-violent job like barking songs on novelty Christmas records. You can do it, boy!
(Santa's Little Helper's barks 'The Dreidel Song')
Lisa: No, boy, that's Hannukah!
I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.Bart