Mr. Duff: Why don't you kids run off and play in the bottle cap pit.
Marge: Don't cut yourselves!

• Permalink: Don't cut yourselves!
• Added: March 15, 2015

These reality shows really leave you no privacy.

Marge

• Permalink: These reality shows really leave you no privacy.
• Added: March 15, 2015

Relax Marge, if God lets the Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this.

Reverend Lovejoy

• Permalink: Relax Marge, if God lets the Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this.
• Added: March 08, 2015

But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone why.

Homer

• Permalink: But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone...
• Added: March 08, 2015

I can't believe it, but the church is going to have to ask people for money.

Marge

• Permalink: I can't believe it, but the church is going to have to ask people for money.
• Added: March 08, 2015

Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates from LinkedIn.

Homer

• Permalink: Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates...
• Added: March 08, 2015

Princess Kemi: So, all these concubines belong to this one tyrant?
Homer: It's called The Bachelor.

• Permalink: It's called The Bachelor.
• Added: March 01, 2015

Princess Kemi: I think he is a sweet, sweet man, but when I kissed him it was not romantic, more like when Snow White kissed Dopey.
Moe: No, no, not this comparison again!

• Permalink: No, no, not this comparison again!
• Added: March 01, 2015

Moe: Do you mind riding a cute little scooter with your arms around my waist?
Princess Kemi: I don't!
Moe: To the scooter store!

• Permalink: To the scooter store!
• Added: March 01, 2015

Homer: She's gone!
Moe: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.

• Permalink: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.
• Added: March 01, 2015

Sorry Marge, but I am the royal babysitter. If I start watching commoners, the tongues of the court will be a wag.

Homer

• Permalink: Sorry Marge, but I am the royal babysitter. If I start watching commoners, the tongues of the...
• Added: March 01, 2015

Those smart cars are cutting into our business. We used to get uber amounts of work giving people lifts.

Taxi Driver

• Permalink: Those smart cars are cutting into our business. We used to get uber amounts of work giving...
• Added: February 15, 2015