I'm not gonna hurt you, unless you try that again.

Stefan [to Alaric]

Damon has no regard for human life. He enjoys inflicting pain on others.

Stefan

Damon: What happens to the bodies?
Katherine: I'll take them into the woods and the other animals will finish them off.

If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Damon

I really like this whole menage a team thing. It has a bit of a kink to it.

Damon

Bonnie: Don't rain on my hot guy parade.
Caroline: It's just a drizzle.

You are so teaching me how to hand-jive.

Elena

Stefan: He posed as a pizza delivery boy last night.
Damon: Well, he gets points for that.

I'm stuck at punch duty at the school dance. I failed English. I copped a plea.

Jeremy

Bonnie: You tried to kill me.
Damon: But I didn't... does that not count for anything?

First person account of the Civil War? That's like porn for a history teacher.

Alaric

Stefan: I'm talking about Atlanta.
Damon: Oh yeah. We had a blast!

Vampire Diaries Quotes

You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena.

Damon

Damon: You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prayer. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm just stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.
Alaric: I miss you too, buddy.