Chris: She's gotta start sleeping at her own house.
Reagan: I really thought that last night she turned a corner.

We're laughing, but we're saying 'no' and it's real.

Chris

Has society broken down? What is this, Mad Max?

Chris

You gotta get Ned off my jock!

Nancy

The off brand guests can help themselves to their Best Value potato discs and Diet Dr. Popper.

Ava

This is really weird playground conversation.

Chris

Reagan: Chris, oh my god, I was gone like thirty seconds!
Chris: They ambushed me babe! I need you to be the hammer in situations like that. They just, I'm just a get along guy.

You guys probably thought my wife cut one right?

Chris

He doesn't know I'm calling you. I'm on the bathroom phone.

Ava

NO! N.O. on the coin slot!

Reagan

I'm Ava, I don't even need a last name.

Ava

Don't they make a little carrier thing for babies like they do for Pomeranians? That way you could just stow her.

Ava

Up All Night Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.

Chris

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?