Up All Night Quotes
If they could do the math, they wouldn't be watching TV in the middle of the day.
Ava
Your stories are so urban, I always thought you were black.
Missy [to Ava's dad]
Chris: You groped me.
Ava: Of course I did and it's totally legal now that I'm your boss.
Sharon for the last time, this is my parking spot you limey old rooster head.
Ava [to Sharon Osbourne]
You know what? The camera loves him and so will the rest of America.
Ava [about Chris]
Pill problem, pill problem, pill problem, mystery STD.
Ava
Let me guess, you're having a baby with Yvonne and you'll name it 'work.'
Chris
You should just poke a hole in the condom. I learned that one from my little pal. Oh, no I didn't, cause she sucks!
Ava
That, as we say in the Hundred and First Airborne, is a bit of a ball knocker.
Luke
You remind her of that smell and the tiny socks?
Chris's Teammate
Jamie: I hate school.
Ava: How many teachers are you sleeping with?
Reagan: How's my breath?
Ava: I give it a B, it could be better.
