Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkVenture Brothers Quotes
Hank: What was Underbheit like back in the old days?
Mr. White: Well, except for the metal jaw, pretty much the same. Total dick
Monarch: Hey! Let's move the Monarch Mobile to the other side of the lot. It'll totally screw with the henchmen's heads!
Dr. Girlfriend: I have never seen this side of you.
Monarch: Look over there. It's the Bearded Spectre. Oh my god, look what he's got on...
Dr. Girlfriend: Are those giant shorts or tiny pants?
What can I do to [Dr. Venture] that life hasn't done to him already?
Monarch
Here I am in the belly of the beast, and I don't even care. I don't even feel like taking a whiz on this. I used to dream of taking a whiz on this
Monarch
Dr. Girlfriend: Hey is that the guy from Depeche Mode?
Monarch: It is the guy from Depeche Mode. He's with a woman?
Dr. Girlfriend: Oh yeah, he's totally straight. I saw a story about him on the VH1.
Monarch: But he's the guy from Depeche Mode!
Dr. Orpheus: My friend! Bedlam has broken out athwart the Kingdom of Venture! Join me in battle!
Dr. Venture: Oh crap. Brock is never going to let me hear the end of this
I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!
Monarch
Henchman 21: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.
Henchman 24: Allegedly.
Henchman 21: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.
Henchman 24: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.
Monarch: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzy Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen! We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen! I'm gonna have to kill them. Pull over if you see a good spot to dump their bodies!
Dr. Orpheus: You're one lucky duck. Oh, it must be dreamy to have a costumed nemesis--chasing you, wringing his gloved hands in concern of your every move.
Dr. Venture: You're kidding, right?
Dr. Orpheus: It just seems so romantic
Brock: You have some dangerous machinery for sale here. I think you're begging for trouble on this one.
Dr. Venture: I thought you handled all that, and I don't hear any big ideas from you on how to get some quick cash, come on! Most of this stuff is old crap my dad left behind.
Brock: Doc, you have a table over there with a sign that says Laser Death Ray Bargain Bin!
Dr. Venture: Well that's why you have your little ska band there to keep the oddballs in costumes from raising Cain
Hank: Hey, I had to sleep in my clothes. Now I feel gross wearing them two days in a row!
Monarch: You're kidding me, right? That's the only outfit I've never seen you in!
Hank: Well that doesn't mean I never wash it.
Monarch: Fair enough
