Warehouse 13

Warehouse 13 Season 1 Quotes

Season 1 Episode 12: "MacPherson"

Pete: So this place is filled with, like the worst guys ever, right? Hitler, Mussolini, Michael Vick.
 • Rating: Unrated

MacPherson: Walk out of here with me now... and follow what you know to be true in your soul.
Pete: That's a nice speech. it sounds even better with the fancy accent. But it still doesn't cover the fact that you are out of your gourd, McNutty-Pants! You put a bomb in a man's mouth. Not really a great recruiting tool.
MacPherson: Fair enough.
 • Rating: Unrated

Artie: Ladies first.
Myka: What? Uh, yeah, age before beauty.
Pete: What? He's older than me. He's older than both of us put together.
Artie: All right, shut up. Hold that. Children. I'm working with children.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Artie: Hey, guys, the Phoenix and the Goblet of Severan, Mrs. Frederic says they've been taken from the warehouse. And she seemed shaken.
Pete: Mrs. Frederic? Seemed shaken?
Artie: Yeah.
Myka: That is so not comforting.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Pete: Okay, let's go over what we don't know.
Myka: That could take weeks.
Pete: Months.
Myka: Years.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 11: "Nevermore"

Pete: But there's something else.
Myka: What?
Pete: I think I'm hot for your mom.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: He thinks you're still in D.C. They both do.
Myka: Well, yeah. And if you tell them any differently, I swear, I will... I will drop a dictionary on your crotch.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Frederic: Manage my assets better or I swear on the ashes of the first twelve Warehouses, I will take them away.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Artie: Look, we were following a lead.
Mrs. Frederic: You took a shot in the dark.
Artie: We hit the center of that target.
Mrs. Frederic: With a small-caliber bullet.
Artie: Pete's caliber is very large. We... you know what? I'm done with this analogy.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 10: "Breakdown"

Artie: How long did you have before the warehouse was gonna explode?
Pete: Under a minute.
Claudia: More like thirty seconds.
Artie: That's lucky. I once got there with 17, and (Mrs. Frederic's) voice gets really annoying when she's counting down the seconds one at time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Myka: You're good. No, you're really good. You'll be fine.
Claudia: Thanks. Hey, um, you know, if you're not busy later, maybe you could show me how to do that ka-cha kick thing? 'Cause, like I tried it on the light switch and I think I broke my toe. And I know I broke the light switch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Artie: So am I fired?
Mrs. Frederic: Worse. They want you to stay. Bering and Lattimer are not the best agents we've ever had. You are.
Artie: They said that?
Mrs. Frederic: It was said. And they were smart enough to believe me.
Artie: Oh. Thanks.
Mrs. Frederic: Simply the facts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claudia: It's sealed with an Omega level security code.
Myka: Can you hack it?
Claudia: Pope, Catholic, bear, woods. You know the drill.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pete: Okay, fine, but you stick close, and you do exactly as we say.
Claudia: All right. Suicide mission with the team. Kind of exciting. I'm excited! Come on.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claudia: Okay, looks like the problem is in the gooery.
Pete: What's a gooery?
Myka: I'm guessing it's Claudia-speak for the neutralizer processor center.
Claudia: Uh-huh.
Pete: Right, of course.
Myka: Well, it's chapter 197 in the manual.
Pete: It's a thousand pages long. I'll wait for the movie.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Myka: We need to get back to the office.
Claudia: Oh, no need. "What are you doing wasting time installing backup terminals in the aisles, foolish red-haired girl?" Because you never know when you might need one, Artie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Theadora: Hi, there, welcome to Ted's. I'm Theadora, but everyone calls me "Ted." Party of one?
Artie: (about Mrs. Frederic) No, no, I'm meeting that woman right over there and it's rarely a party.
 • Rating: Unrated

Myka: "Baylor Dodgeball. Used for military dexterity and agility training. Multiples upon contact." That we already know. "Acquired after the... bludgeoning deaths of five cadets in 1972."
Pete: Uh, uh, bludgeoning is b-bad.
Myka: Agreed, Agreed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Myka: I just hope she's okay, you know?
Pete: Claudia's like bamboo. You can bend her all you want, but she'll never break.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claudia: What else? Okay, "repair auto-vac." Slice-o-pie. "Tighten and lubricate zip line." Sounds kind of dirty when you say it like that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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