Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred

You see what it says there? Participant. Do you think they give one of those to every dog who takes part in the competition?

Wilfred

We get it, Beans. We all know you got tasty balls. No need to flaunt it. Jesus, is there no limits to this guy's arrogance?

Wilfred

Oh typical. Won't even shlob this guy's nob to help a friend get steroids. You selfish prick.

Wilfred

I'm gonna look just like that Kathleen Turner dude.

Wilfred

I have a strict policy against taking any drug that's not illegal. They're never strong enough.

Wilfred

Ryan: Drew says that it helps you achieve maximum core rippage.
Wilfred: That's just the kinda rippage I need.

See what I did there? I got super tired, stopped running, and started dry heaving. I've gotta not do that.

Wilfred

I'm not Dr. Phil, okay? I'm Dr. Wilfred...and I only call myself that when I'm dj-ing.

Wilfred

Ryan: I'm just trying to make small talk.
Wilfred: And I'm just trying to focus on my pace. Uhh, seven minute miles, ever heard of 'em?

Ryan: Was he pissed off about something?
Wilfred: Drew drives hard. Dude's confident behind the wheel.

Ryan: You jog huh?
Wilfred: It's Thursday Ryan. I told you, arms and cardio.

Mustard stains are the new black.

Ryan
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 19 in total

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Wilfred Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Drew-bee-doo-bee-doo, what's up bro?

Wilfred

Ry...can see clearly now the rain is gone.

Drew
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