Community

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I wish I was a book. She could pick me up, flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew wieners in me.

Troy

I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.

Troy

I live with that dude. He's got night terrors and a rotary phone.

Troy

Abed: For Greendale College Television, I'm Abed Nadir.
Troy: And I'm Troy "Butt Soup" Barnes. What? That's my name.

Troy: According to our polls, the campus is almost evenly divided. Now keep in mind, the margin of error on this thing is about 98%.
Abed: Could be higher. We don't even know how to do margins of error. We talked to two people at a vending machine.

I'm auditioning for Professor Garrity's all-black production of "Fiddler on the Roof." It's called "Fiddlah, Please!"

Troy

My uncle never put his finger in my plop-plop. I know, I'm bummed about it too.

Troy

My uncle put his finger in my no-no!

Troy

Annie: I lost Abed!
Troy: I told you to never let him out of your sight! That goes double for holidays and wax museums!

Do we want [Abed] to freak out and have to rescue him from some fantasy world where submarines are small enough to enter the bloodstream?

Troy

Annie: Shirley! We were just-
Abed:-about to-
Troy:-eat garbage dip! Why did I have to go third??

Kevin doesn't know about labor laws, or forty hour work weeks, or that that guy named him after his dog.

Troy
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 17 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]