Joel McHale Quotes
Britta: When's the graduation ceremony?
Jeff: Never. It's community college. You send in some papers and they stop charging you.
Well, it's official--it's on a banner.
Jeff
Annie, why are you acting like a mistress in a Lifetime movie?
Jeff
I've spent almost four years here, growing and changing and making dioramas.
Jeff
Abed, we don't have origin stories, we have lives. At least...yup, just me.
Jeff
Dean Pelton: Which is to say that having Jeffrey inside of me-
Jeff: No one was inside of anyone!
Dean Pelton: -was wrong. To have Jeffrey inside of me.
Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.
Maintenance Guy: Sorry, routine light switch check.
Jeff: That is not a thing!
Pierce: What do you want me to do?
Jeff: Stay alive...or don't!
Pierce: I'm on it!
Holy makes-complete-sense-at-this-school!
Jeff
Britta: So you just left your section blank.
Jeff: No, of course not! I copied and pasted the lyrics to "War (What Is It Good For)."
Jeff: It's Macallan 18. I like to serve it neat, if that's okay with you.
Professor Cornwallis: What, in America? Don't you mix it with cherry pop or Monterey Jack cheese?