Community

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You ruined Christmas dinner so that you could be crowned the smartest person at the dumbest school?

Jeff

So this is how Greendale graduates end up--as transient mountain men. Not as bad as I thought.

Jeff

As someone who faked being a lawyer for seven years, I appreciate your commitment to the bit.

Jeff

Hey Britta, where's Sophie B.? Is she backstage, drinking Zima and counting out Beanie Babies?

Jeff

I'm gonna go get a sandwich, which, unlike "changnesia," is real.

Jeff

I am not well-adjusted. More often than not, I am barely keeping it together. I am constantly texting...and there is no one at the other end.

Jeff

William: So, how about we make a couple of ground rules.
Jeff: Actually, that sounds good. Okay, no hugs.
William: Wouldn't want one. No apologies.
Jeff: Wouldn't accept one.

Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

Damn them and their perfectly crafted time pieces!

Jeff

I thought this was America, not Arizona.

Jeff

Carl, I see you've grown a new douchebag.

Jeff
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 38 in total

Community Quotes

I'm no sociopath, I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, and getting yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.

Jeff

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]