Favorite Joel McHale Quotes
Jeff: What are you doing here Change and how do you know where I live?
Chang: I can answer both of those questions by returning your driver's license.
Pierce, take it from an expert. These people are just outside your heart. Let them in, before it's too late.
Jeff
Damn them and their perfectly crafted time pieces!
Jeff
Maintenance Guy: Sorry, routine light switch check.
Jeff: That is not a thing!
Dean Pelton: Which is to say that having Jeffrey inside of me-
Jeff: No one was inside of anyone!
Dean Pelton: -was wrong. To have Jeffrey inside of me.
Annie, why are you acting like a mistress in a Lifetime movie?
Jeff
I am not well-adjusted. More often than not, I am barely keeping it together. I am constantly texting...and there is no one at the other end.
Jeff
Britta: When's the graduation ceremony?
Jeff: Never. It's community college. You send in some papers and they stop charging you.
Abed, we don't have origin stories, we have lives. At least...yup, just me.
Jeff
Hey Britta, where's Sophie B.? Is she backstage, drinking Zima and counting out Beanie Babies?
Jeff
As someone who faked being a lawyer for seven years, I appreciate your commitment to the bit.
Jeff
So this is how Greendale graduates end up--as transient mountain men. Not as bad as I thought.
Jeff
