Whiskey sex is the best. It's when a guy can't have sex for like five hours because he's so drunk. Or his penis is so drunk.

Our friendship is like a roller coaster, we hook up and then we yell at each other and then we don't talk to each other for a couple days.

I'm trying to be sexy, it's not working.

I can do the worm pretty good.

The party get it all out freaking do everything that you can have sex with an old man and steal a plant and get arrested and then do whatever.

If I could have Ron or Sam back next summer, I would want Ron. Don't tell her I said that.

After I run for president, Deena is going to be vice-president. I would get $h!t done in this country. The economy would rise, everyone would be tan, and all the radios would play house music.

We're in Seaside. Leave us alone.

I look like a pale freak. I feel like Vinny.

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