Jenni looks so hot. Like porn star hot. If Roger wasn't here then I would probably have sex with her.

[on Jwoww] I got a boner.

I look like a hot drunk baseball player right now and I'm lovin' it. BATTER UP, BITCHES!

I hate the ocean, it's all whale sperm. Everybody Google it, because that's why the water is salty, from the f**kin' whale sperm.

Jeff is ready to do moves on me... but really I had my friggin' period. Story of my life.

I told [Pauly D] I'm taking his sperm and making babies out of it.

I remember I [masturbated] all day once and the next day I couldn't even move.

It doesn't come up "Stripper Pole" on my credit card, right? 'Cause my Dad would be like "what the f*%k?!"

Seeing Jenni crying and breaking down... it breaks my heart and it makes me want to find Tom and chop his nuts off.

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