One [fireman] is tall, tanned... and he looked Italian, so I woulda smushed that, yes.

[Vinny's] like my big brother, I love him. But usually you don't have sex with your big brother.

I'm not sure what lobsters eat, but I think they eat like insects or something ... so I was gonna feed them worms.

It's all good in the hood.

JWoww: Oh no, he's gonna drown!
Snooki: They live in water!
Vinny: It lives in salt water, you idiot.

[her list of criteria for a man] Tanned; guido; juicehead gorilla; big sense of humor; likes to party; fist-pumps; frolics; isn't a jerkoff; a dork at heart; pays for meals; smells good; nympho; likes pickles; takes interest in my hobbies; very protective; not so serious; likes to sleep in.

Hold my earrings.

I think Angelina loves my sloppy seconds. She goes to Vinny and she's trying to go to what's-his-name. Like, what are you doing? If you want to make out with me, just ask. I will say yes.

Pauly D: I almost seen your cooca!
Snooki: My cooca's out!

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