Take a drive down any street in suburbia. Know what you're gonna...

(narrating) Take a drive down any street in suburbia. Know what you're gonna see? Desperate women. That's right.. one unhappy housewife after another, each completely miserable.. in her own unique way. But I don't want to talk about them. No, I want to talk about their men and what happens to a guy when that special lady in his life starts to lose it. Like my friend Carlos. He used to have it all.. hot wife, tons of dough, then bam! She gets a divorce, and he gets stuck with the bill. But does he sit around and complain like your average hausfrau? No, Sir. He finds creative ways to get what you can out of life.

Rex

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Episode:
Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 16: "My Husband, the Pig"
Show:
Desperate Housewives
Related Quotes:
Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 16 Quotes, Desperate Housewives Quotes
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Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 16 Quotes

(The boys have gathered at Tom's restraurant when Ian walks in)
Mike: Hey, Ian.
Ian: Nice to see you Mike.
(Mike rolls his eyes at the other guys)
Carlos: What is fish'n'chips doing here?
Tom: Susan asked me to include him, she said he always wanted to learn how to play poker so we're gonna give him some very expensive lessons.
Mike: Be careful, he already knows how to bluff.

Mike: Was that proposal spontaneous or did you have it all planned?
Ian: Oh, it was entirely planned. I thought it would be the ideal occasion.
Mike: If it was planned why didn't you have a ring?
Ian: Well, I thought Susan might like to choose a ring herself.
Mike: So, why did she pick a ring that was too big for her?
Ian: How did you know that?
Tom: Guys, guys, guys, we came here to play cards, so why are we talking about jewelery?
Mike: Sorry Tom, but I just found out I bought a ring for Susan myself. It was in my pocket that night some son of a bitch ran me over.
Orson: Ahm, Tom's right, we should focus on the game.
Mike: After our talk I called the hospital. They said my ring got in with your wife's stuff. So you saw it before I did. The same day you proposed to Susan.
Ian: And your point is?
Mike: That that's why you were in such a big hurry. You wanted to seal the deal before I found out about the ring and told her.
Ian: Do you think I'm afraid of you?
Mike: Maybe you should be. What do you think Susan would say if she found out your proposal was so spontaneous?

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  2. Take a drive down any street in suburbia. Know what you're gonna...