The only way you're like Socrates is that you have the body hair of a Greek man.

Jack (to Liz)

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Jack Donaghy Quotes, 30 Rock Season 7 Episode 10 Quotes, 30 Rock Quotes
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30 Rock Season 7 Episode 10 Quotes

I love my mother, Lemon, obviously because of Stockholm Syndrome.

Jack

Liz: Did you get my gift?
Jack: I assumed it was the bottle of wine with the card reading "Dear Doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish..."