Jack: You like NBC, don't you Kenneth?
Kenneth: I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole wide world.

So shines a goon's deed in a weary world.

Women who try to do things sure get killed a lot.

Jack: Through back channels...
Liz: Like BET?
Jack: BACK channels.

Liz: Also, you're kind of a slut.
Jack: I did sleep with Jenna a lot during season three.

The only way you're like Socrates is that you have the body hair of a Greek man.

Jack: I can give you a season pass to Universal's Harry Potter World.
Liz: Ok, I am not some kind of nerdery slut. I like Star Wars!

I love my mother, Lemon, obviously because of Stockholm Syndrome.

My grandfather's purple heart...it's terrible what alcoholism can do to the body.

Liz: Did you get my gift?
Jack: I assumed it was the bottle of wine with the card reading "Dear Doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish..."

Banks: How'd you get these DNA results back so fast?
Jack: I happen to have some very powerful friends at The Maury Povich Show.

Jack: How much time and energy have we wasted with our sparring and our gravel-voiced double entendre?
Banks: An ass-load.

30 Rock Quotes

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz: I need to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into more money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz